weed

I’ve just had a bit of a serious “writer’s rant” and now I’m back in my pjs and farting, well not farting but when I do, I will let it out, not that I hold it back at home in front of any immediate family, but when thinking of the writing I’ve just been doing …

So the universe will end and this will cease to exist Read More »

It’s been a while, probably because I haven’t been smoking much and when I do I go into a hole. This is the first day I’ve felt ok after ingesting pot. One obvious reason comes to mind, but to get sidetracked by that now would make me lose the 10 other tracks, need to type …

Save on Christmas Gifts Read More »

Reminder to jot down what I was thinking in the shower last night, about not writing for a couple days but also thinking how even when nothing to write then just these words even it’s all writing. Once again, I have smoked pot and now feel inclined to write. It’s a trigger, an association which …

Specify the objectives of the writing Read More »

It’s easy to latch on to the revolving door of thoughts that take up the space in our head. The things that are troubling us, the things that impact us, how influences can create a perceived negative reaction or emotion then we start to feel sorry for ourselves because I shouldn’t be feeling this way. …

Revolving door of thoughts Read More »

Yep, one smoke. Is it nervousness? That feeling of despair and lost The feeling of failing with nothing to show Materialistic, yes it’s true, nothing to show, but one can still choose to have their pride intact. If learning is genuinely taking place and remorse can be felt. Effort in doing what can be done …

Failing with nothing to show Read More »

Ok, just had a smoke. First time all week, maybe later in the day This time, 2pm, first time an early afternoon smoke for a long time. Why? No excuse. It was there. Was I drawn to it because of the email I wrote for work. Are my expectations too high? What does it mean …

Are my expectations too high? Read More »

17:26  This journaling is fun, helpful. How helpful, not sure yet, maybe it is becoming more helpful as I do it, write it, say it. That little voice in the head, saying each word, can ‘type fast enough  and you never want to say it out aloud as it is too confronting. My thoughts my …

This journaling is fun Read More »

11am, feeling ok, still a bit anxious. The feeling of the environment seems to be settling down a bit. It has been 8 days now since the incident, and 7 days since I made conscious decision to stop drinking alcohol. A couple of chin-ups here and there already today, but still a way off before …

Friday, Day 7 Read More »

The thoughts buzzing around my head, constantly thinking and feeling the environment, home, the car. In the bathroom, I know I have to write this down, then I think is this a book? It can be. This is what will carry me. It’s helping, slowly, I can feel it. Making a conscious decision about this …

Teeth brushed Read More »

Well wouldn’t you know, I decided to have a smoke on a Wednesday. Just because I’ve stopped drinking I think I can do whatever I like whenever I like. Is this my reward or am I just punishing myself subconsciously I’m now feeling anxious again, that “nervous/scared” feeling in my stomach, and the eyes, what …

Weed Read More »