Failing with nothing to show

Yep, one smoke.

Is it nervousness?

That feeling of despair and lost

The feeling of failing with nothing to show

Materialistic, yes it’s true, nothing to show, but one can still choose to have their pride intact.

If learning is genuinely taking place and remorse can be felt.

Effort in doing what can be done to demonstrate desire to address.

But when the desire is there, then the work becomes a good habit.

It’s that emptiness in the stomach that sometimes is felt in the top of the stomach and the bottom.

That tired like heaviness around the eyes.

The eye balls.

I need to actually meditate.

All this listening, thinking, writing, working, getting distracted, twitter, LinkedIn.

It’s only when I’m stoned that I think to write, then I can, I just write about anything, for example.

Is it of value, to myself, to just help guide the thoughts to what should be written about, is it the articulating of the thoughts, and being able to put words to those feelings and thoughts can help to look them face on give the thoughts and feelings, life?

Words to paper bring these things to the outside world. Until this happens, they are soups swirling around the body and the mind.

What is worth sharing, who cares, we don’t write because we think who cares what I think and feel.

Coming back to the idea of being in a relationship with yourself, perhaps we should care first and foremost.

Once we care, it doesn’t really matter if anyone cares or not, it’s because we are at peace with what we think and feel. Of course we should care. It’s not someone else’s problem. It’s ours. We need to care. When we care, we can show compassion for our own situation. We can reason through it with ourselves.

We are happy to tell other people that “that’s life”, or whatever. When we look at ourselves do we always try and look for someone else to blame to keep our pride intact. We have such high expectations of ourselves.

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