jackmotel

Procrastination

9:57 PM First time in a long time I have the time  It’s been 12 months of self loathing, gradual discovery and resetting the balance.  Was there balance before, maybe not, do I have the ability to balance myself.  I’ve written that this is definitely the way forward, just do this.  It’s about writing, anyone …

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Everything looks good in the brochure  

Freedom is freedom from influence How others influence and feed your reality, being, ego and your presence in the world who you are.   How others make who you are and your reactions Freedom is  not reacting  Freedom is accepting your death  Freedom is not being controlled by your attention  Freedom is pure acceptance of everything …

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Memory

Everything you know including the people you love and the people you hate, are all a memory.  Your experience and understanding of everything that you know is a memory.   The only thing that is real and true is now.  The future is your expectation.   The past is your history.   The present and now is all …

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My inner voice is my ego

“You didn’t tell me!” After I told her yesterday that I’m putting money aside each month from my pay, and I overlooked telling her that the money would be used for My 50th party. Money money I’m eating a lot of chocolate I’m smoking the pain away I’m uncomfortable receiving compliments I searched “can I …

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So the universe will end and this will cease to exist

I’ve just had a bit of a serious “writer’s rant” and now I’m back in my pjs and farting, well not farting but when I do, I will let it out, not that I hold it back at home in front of any immediate family, but when thinking of the writing I’ve just been doing …

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Back from a break

Going from lying on the bed to a comment about not doing anything again, to offering to help to find a pillow case to being told I’ve never changed the sheets on the beds. I don’t know if it was really feasible to carry on as “per normal”.  emotions arose, mud slinging occurred, feeling being …

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From death to the end of the universe via a separation

It is about the jealousy; I really have no reason to be jealous. It does feel, and sure the oil I just had would be exacerbating the situation, but lets deal with the suspicions. It’s the anxiety caused by the suspicions, the thoughts of her doing that. LOOK AT ME. LET IT GO The end …

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The visual of time and the universe

We are collectively what’s called life. And we have been put in charge to continue or destroy. Maybe it is our destiny to destroy life forever. like literally forever. The visual of time and the universe. What do people “see” how do they visualise death the infinite of death Its not about us its about …

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The finite nature of our existence is real

That’s right, these talks from Roger Penrose and Leonard Susskind about the beginning of the universe and the end of universe are fascinating, and in a way comforting. The finite nature of our existence is real. The idea that some things are infinite, mostly in mathematics, the singularity that Penrose and Susskind refer to and …

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